- Way 1 sleepers are calling for “a little decorum.”
- Way 2 sleepers say they “just want everyone to get along.”
- Way 6 sleepers say they’re “too comfortable to comment.”
- Way 7 sleepers were not reached for comment, as they were busy living their truth with warm ankles.
One man reported that he had always assumed his sleep style was “normal,” then looked at the chart and realized he is a 5.5, a category the chart does not recognize and he does not plan to explain.
What This Means for Society
Experts say the real takeaway is not who sleeps in what, but that everyone, deep down, believes their own way is the correct one, and that the other six are strange behavior in a trench coat.
It is also a reminder that no matter how confident a stranger sounds in the comments, there is always a cartoon bear lying on the floor in a little red shirt who has no regrets.
At press time, Kofi Mensah had logged off, Xavier remained undefeated, and somewhere, a person who sleeps like a 7 was quietly adjusting his socks.
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